Dating Apps: Finding the Right One
Getting set up with your cousin’s accountant isn’t the only way to meet someone new. Here are six dating apps to get you swiping.
If love isn’t in the air for you this Valentine’s Day, maybe you’ll find it in a dating app. Whether you want forever or for now, here are several apps to check out.
Best for long-term relationships
“Over the years, we've learned more and more about what people want—and the tools they need to help take the lottery out of love,” says Match on its About Us page.
Launched in 1995, Match is one of the most enduring dating apps. By its 20th anniversary, it had been responsible for “517,000 relationships, 92,000 marriages, and around a million babies.”
Last year, it had over 16 million paid subscribers–proof that members are serious about finding The One.
Getting started: After giving your age, the preferred gender of your partner, and your ZIP code, you’ll get to the basics: physical appearance, religion, ethnicity, education level, if you drink or smoke, etc. You’ll have to elaborate on your interests and hobbies, choosing from options like cooking, traveling, dancing, and politics. You don’t have to answer everything in one go, but the more info you give, the better matches you’ll get.
They’ll also ask you to choose specific personality traits you’re looking for in a partner and rate how important those traits are to you. And if there are certain habits or traits you don’t want, you can set them as a deal-breaker. This way, the system won’t show you matches that have those in their answers. When you’re done giving details about your ideal partner, you can tell members about yourself in the In My Own Words section. Your profile is then reviewed by Match’s staff for approval.
Match’s data-backed algorithm does the hard work, giving you daily matches based on your answers and studying your swipes to learn more about your preferences. “We have to give a shoutout to match's UX designers: The site actually looks nice,” writes Leah Stodart on Mashable. “If you're someone who appreciates a clean, minimalistic design, you'll be more than content here.”
The downside: With the free version, you can sign up, create a profile, upload photos, search the database, and send and receive “winks” (Match’s flirty equivalent of Facebook’s poking). Anything more than that, you’ll have to pay if you want to play. A paid subscription lets you send messages to any Match.com member, attend IRL events set up by Match, and see who has viewed or favorited your profile.
The bottom line: It has a solid reputation and an easy-to-use interface, but the free version doesn’t get you far. However, Match is pretty confident it will be worth your money: If you don’t find someone in six months, Match will give you the next six months for free.
Download Match on Google Play and the App Store
Best for casual dating
It’s the dating app that sparked the swipe. Sifting through millions of potential matches, you just have to swipe right if you like what you see and left if you don’t. If you both swipe right, you get a notification. It’s fast, it’s easy, and it’s fun to use.
Getting started: Depending on what device you’re using, you can create an account with your phone number, email address, or by logging on to Google or Facebook. To set up your profile, you can have up to nine photos. You also have the option to write a short bio (up to 500 characters).
That’s basically it. No fuss, no muss, no burning questions about yourself or your ideal mate. Just flex your fingers and start swiping.
The downside: It’s fast, it’s easy, and there are millions of fish in this particular sea. After a while, that could feel like eating way too many potato chips in one sitting.
The bottom line: Tinder is easy to figure out and gives great value without a paid subscription, making it perfect for dating app newbies. It gives you a larger-than-life dating pool, with 75 million monthly active users around the world.
Download Tinder on Google Play and the App Store
Best for the empowered woman
With Bumble, the women are in control. Founded by women for women, Bumble flips the old-fashioned rules of dating. In this dating app, it’s the women who make the first move.
When a woman matches with a man, she has 24 hours to contact him, or the connection expires. In same-gender matches, either person can send a message first.
If you’re a hetero male who’s happy to sit back and let the woman lead–and if you’re a woman who’s tired of unsolicited messages–this is the app for you.
Getting started: Your profile includes photos, your bio, and what Bumble calls My Move Makers. You can choose to answer three prompts to reveal more about yourself. Some examples are “Never have I ever”, “My dream dinner guest is”, and “Two truths and a lie”.
Bumble isn’t only for dating. With Bumble BFF, you can make new friends, while Bumble Bizz is for professional networking.
The downside: Bumble’s 24-hour deadline can be daunting. You might not be in the mood to chat immediately, or you may be swiping during a quick work break and forget to reply. Free users can extend one match a day. Paid subscribers can go back on profiles they left-swiped on and extend matches–but only by another 24 hours.
The bottom line: Bumble works hard to make online dating a safer space for its users, banning hate speech and weapons of violence in profile pictures. In 2019, it launched the Private Detector feature. It uses AI to automatically blur nude images shared within a chat, alerts you that you’ve received a potentially inappropriate image, and lets you decide whether to view or block it.
Download Bumble on Google Play and the App Store
Best for style and substance
It’s the “Instagram of dating apps,” says Elle UK, and it’s a beauty. Combining photos and answers to fun profile prompts is a simple but clever way to showcase your personality and learn more about other users.
Hinge promotes itself as the app “designed to be deleted,” and it seems to be doing that right. According to its website, 3 out of 4 first dates lead to second ones, and it’s the #1 mobile-first dating app mentioned in the wedding section of the New York Times.
Getting started: To complete your profile, you must have six photos or videos of yourself and provide answers to three prompts. From light topics like your go-to dish in the kitchen and your zombie apocalypse plan to more revealing prompts like the quickest way to your heart, these built-in questions make it easier to start a conversation.
Instead of mindlessly swiping through potential matches, you scroll through profiles like on Instagram. You can react to people’s answers to prompts or photos and even add a comment.
The downside: With the free version, users can send only 8 “likes” a day, and filter options are limited to gender, location, age, distance, ethnicity, and religion. To get unlimited likes and more search filter options, you have to pay for the Preferred Hinge membership. The limited number of daily likes, however, could also be a good thing, making you more mindful of who you want to connect with.
The bottom line: With everyone sharing more information about themselves on their profile–and giving other users more ways to interact right off the bat–Hinge is geared towards more meaningful conversations that could grow into a relationship.
Download Hinge on Google Play and the App Store
Best for LGBTQ+ women
HER is the largest free dating app for lesbians and LGBTQ+ people to not only date but also expand their social network IRL.
“We see queer people and show them that this is their home,” Robyn Exton, CEO and founder of HER, shared with IN Magazine. “We care about connection above everything else, which is why we developed our whole events ecosystem. Meeting online doesn’t work for everyone, so we wanted to help develop ways for people to meet in person. Whatever works for you, we got you covered.”
Getting started: You can create an account using your Apple ID, Facebook, Instagram, or your phone number. Users can choose from 16 sexualities and 18 gender identities, a testament to HER’s commitment to nurturing an inclusive and representative online community.
The free version is very robust, with all core features available. Users can view profiles, get matches, start chats, add friends, join communities, and view upcoming events. Launched in 2013, HER has over 8 million registered users worldwide.
The downside: Currently, HER is only available on a mobile phone or tablet.
The bottom line: A dating app, social media platform, and events organizer rolled into one, HER is a fun, safe, and inclusive community for LGBTQ+ women.
Download HER on Google Play and the App Store
Best for the liberal-minded dater seeking a like-minded partner
Tricky topics like politics and religion are usually a no-no when you’re still in the getting-to-know-you phase, but OkCupid dives right in. By asking questions about relationships, women’s issues, guns, and vaccines, OkCupid finds out exactly where you stand about important issues. Its algorithm then calculates your compatibility with other users based on your answers.
Getting started: You can create an account using Facebook or your email. After giving your basic information, you can add up to 6 photos to your profile and write a short bio. Then it’s time for the Q&A portion. There are 40,000 questions on their system, but OkCupid suggests answering between 50 and 100 to start.
The DoubleTake section of OkCupid works basically like Tinder, where you swipe left or right on profiles, but with a key difference. The app shows you a percentage rating of how closely you match based on your profile answers. Aside from the overall rating, OkCupid specifies how much of a match you are on various topics like religion and lifestyle.
"What we know from science and working with social psychologists and studying relationships is that when you have things in common and you care about the same things, those are ingredients to long-term healthier relationships,” OkCupid CMO Melissa Hobley shared with Refinery29. “So we try to do [a] good job with that and make it about much more than just location and hot selfies.”
With the free version, you can create a detailed profile, browse through the entire member database, and use detailed search filters.
The downside: “One critique that OkCupid gets is the feature that allows you to message someone who you haven’t matched with yet,” says the Chicago Reader. “They won’t see that message unless you match. While it keeps creepy messages at bay, it also lends itself to a bunch of unanswered messages and a strange feeling of rejection.”
he bottom line: Deal-breakers can, well, break up a relationship. Getting them out of the way early in the game improves your chances of being a winner in love.
Download OkCupid on Google Play and the App Store
Before you dive into the dating pool
We all have different wants and needs. Identifying yours can help you decide not only which dating app is best for you but what–and who–you hope to get out of the entire experience.
- Dig deep to find out what you want in a partner. Before getting on a dating app, think about what you would want your ideal partner to be like. Once you’ve got a clear picture, you can decide where to look.
- Establish your commitment level and intentions. Are you joining a dating app to find the right one or the right one for now? Are you willing to shell out money in your search for a partner, or do you just want to soak up the experience and possibly make new friends?
- Be true to yourself. From sharing personal details to answering prompts, be yourself. It’s tempting to stretch the truth or go overboard with photo effects, but in the long run, you should do you. The goal is a Mr. Darcy revelation: “I like you very much, just as you are.”
- Keep the conversation going. Ask questions about stuff on their profile, share tidbits of yourself, learn more about their interests and talk about your own. It’s the time to know one another, so make chitchat a give and take.
- Be honest–and kind–if there’s no spark. Chemistry can be a tricky thing. When you know it’s not going to happen with someone, keep the Golden Rule front and center. A polite rejection written with empathy and respect is better than ghosting.
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